Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
