there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
