$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
