covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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