I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My feet surprised me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
