If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
