Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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