he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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