why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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