Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
