You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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