Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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