Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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