I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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