why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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