Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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