I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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