so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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