the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
