I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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