I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
