oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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