yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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