Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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