Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
