They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
