The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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