? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
