How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
