The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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