your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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