I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
