oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
dude. I can hear the air.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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