Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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