another moral hangover. fuck.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
