so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
