Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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