have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The beer is more important than you right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
