so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize