Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
