so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize