Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
