is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
