a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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