Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
They have beer where we have blood.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
