everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize