if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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