I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
