so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
