he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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