Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
