Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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