We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
