we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
