I hate your face
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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