Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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