I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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