Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
