Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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